Compulsive Marriages


Marriages are made in heaven but broken in earth. There are many reasons for marriages to take off and break down. One of the crucial reasons for marriages today is the compulsive nature. Parents, family members, neighborhood and friends keep pressurizing young people to enter marital bond. Their pressure is understandable and genuine at times. Someone who is not married till 30 years despite settling well in life with a job needs guidance from others. In India most of the youth go for marriage due to pressure. In United States there were approximately 2, 23,000 marriages in 2005 – down from 2,279,000 the previous years, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.

A girl of thirty four years with a postgraduate degree in Public Administration was cursed for dark colour skin. Along with this colour disadvantage she is fat. Knowing this drawback her parents asked to study and achieve. Despite all the study, struggle and work, no groom was coming. The family started hunting for a boy four years back. Last month she got a man who is an orphan but said to be well placed in life with an employment. Due to heavy parental pressure she was married in a hurry. Without enquiring into his background, the marriage was arranged. After a month, the man was found to be unemployed. This increased the tension between the couple and took them to fist fights. He ran away from home and now untraceable. All her dreams of happy life is now broken. She was happy with the single status. The short lived marriage will give her long term scarce. Her simple question to parents “did I ask you for the marriage? I know my physical features which won’t get good man”. These kinds of incidents are often happening in India.


In the western world where there is thin family bond and thick personal decisions, marriage is not a problem. The bond between parents and children gets weak when they grow up. One of my Scottish friends working in a reputed university is not connected with her separated parents from her fifteen years of age. All alone she managed to complete her studies with a higher degree. She worked part time to raise money for her studies. After 20 years of lonely ploughing of her life she entered into a wed lock with her long time boy friend. She was thirty five during the time of her marriage. In a wedding information mail to me she mentioned that she is getting wedded. There was only fifteen close friends and family members invited to the ceremony. She hired a wedding gown and conducted a simple ceremony. All because of the higher costs which both of them cannot afford. Even this small ceremony and dinner for fifteen people cost her a thousand pounds. Atomisation of individuals and social bondage will lead to such kind of pathetic situations.


Any amount of personal achievements becomes void in the long run. A strong family and community support is required for a person. With the high pace life, mental and physical trauma are inevitable. A constant counseling is required for young people and parents. Marriage should not be thrust on them. But once they enter wedlock calmness is required.






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