Sexventurous Men

shineyThere is no logic to slip from the planned path. Human beings are prone to involving in negative habits like rape, molesting, crime etc in a matter of seconds without any prior thought. Even habitual offenders start like this and go on to become professionals. Unsolicited sex is the most unpopular item which attracts everyone’s attraction. Especially by a well-known person in the society.

Vinita Dawra Nangia writes in The Times of India (28 June 2009)

Sometimes a moment is all it takes. A moment that can make or break history; a moment that changes an entire life. A moment of madness, or a moment A moment of madness of enlightenment.

A moment when Prince Sidhartha decided to leave behind home and kingdom, then again a moment when enlightenment struck Buddha. An instant that compelled the impassioned Othello to take the life of wife Desdemona and another that put Antony
under Cleopatra’s spell, thus determining his downfall …

Shiney Ahuja also must have been governed by that one moment of madness in which he made the choice to force himself upon his hapless maid. Maybe if that flash in time had passed, he may have thought better of it and held himself back. His decision in that moment has decided the course of the rest of his life. And unfortunately that of his wife and child as well.

What makes people give up an entire life in a moment of madness? Remember recent news reports of the girl who killed her mother in a fit of rage when she protested against her daughter’s lover? Or the wife who killed her husband, enraged because
he wouldn’t go for a walk with her. Later in the night, she hung herself too, leaving behind three orphaned kids! Or the Chandigarh gardener who used his shears to cut his wife to bits because she wouldn’t accompany him to his parents’ home!
A moment’s madness, and a lifetime of regret. . .

There are many more examples of apparently normal people giving in to a fit of passion that is of almost lunatic dimension. Of course, there’s no guarantee that this is the first moment of madness that struck these people; there may have been many earlier. However, life has this habit of catching up with you suddenly, some time, some day. Very often you have walked away with worse and then get caught for something much smaller.

Who is to say former US Prez Bill Clinton’s worst indulgence was with Monica Lewinsky? He must have given in to the loony moment several times before the moment got him! The same is true of people like Hugh Grant caught in his encounter with a Hollywood prostitute, or of Boris Becker who had sex with model Angela Ermakova in a restaurant broom cupboard while his wife Barbara went to hospital with labour pains! Or of Brad Pitt who was caught massaging the nanny’s back even with the world’s fantasy woman Angelina Jolie in his own bed!

What really happens when you give in to the sheer mindlessness of such an instant? It’s like slipping into a kind of a lunacy; emotions cloud all reasoning and you are driven over the edge. There’s that split second before you tip the balance, which is the making or breaking moment. And then you get to the point of no return, when you are lost to reason and consequence.

Can such overwhelming emotions be controlled? Can these people be held responsible for their actions in such moments? Does the moment define such a person or does it overtake him that once? Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Deepak Raheja says it
would be unfair to judge a person’s character based on that one moment of weakness since that could have come from a chemical overplay or even a sudden clouding of the mind and intelligence due to extreme emotions, which could be rage, jealousy, hatred or even lust. “The libidinal impulse that takes birth in the brain may take over so badly that it demands instant gratification.”

When asked if arrogance and sense of power can blind people to reason and lead to impulsive anti-social behavior, Dr Raheja
says, “Certainly, a false sense of power and Narcissim that you can get away with everything can lead to the moments of madness.” Interestingly, the law takes cognisance of the unpredictability of human behaviour under the influence of extreme
passion. Explains Shilpi Jain, lawyer Supreme Court, “In criminal law we look at intention, not the act itself. For instance,
in a murder case the IPC says if a person commits murder in heat of emotion, the punishment is not as severe as it is for a premeditated crime. In case of rape, it becomes a bit complicated because then you get into whether there was any encouragement from the victim’s side.”

Lawyers cite two cases to show the sensitivity of British law to the impact of emotion on a person who in a moment of sudden lunacy, commits a crime. Though the lawyers couldn’t name the cases, in one case a British judge apparently took a lenient view of a woman who killed her husband because she was apparently under PMT stress at the time!

Another British judge, says Shilpi, took a lenient view of a rapist who said he was unable to help himself after he saw the victim looking so sexy at the beach. The judge apparently asked the victim to come to court dressed similarly. And then, based on his own reaction, agreed with the accused!

The Brits do seem to be lenient to their Moments of Madness! And why not, when the same moments, if they have led to crime, have also produced some of the world’s greatest art and literature, a fair amount of it emanating from good old Britain!
Temporary bouts of madness can no doubt have their own drugging effect and a reinforcement behaviour. Anyone who gets away with it once, may think he can escape always. And this is particularly true of those who are delusional about their own success and seem to imagine the world revolves around them. It could happen to any of us.

Agreeing with this, Dr Raheja sounds a note of warning, saying when on an upward curve, it is very important for all to keep the internal journey going. All you need every day is a moment off from the heady drug of success to remain grounded.


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